Fathers and Finances

 This week in class we talked about fathers and finances. I had a really good conversation with a couple people in my class on the importance of fathers. One person told us that her parents are divorced and her dad wasn’t really in her life very much. She said that she didn’t have someone to teach her certain things and guide her like other people had. Another person mentioned how his dad gave him a good example and shared how one of his friends got into more extreme things because he didn’t have a father in his life. He noticed a correlation between not having a father and extreme behaviors from his friend. I am not completely sure what the data suggests, but my guess would be that his friend is a good example of other people who grew up without their fathers.

I feel so blessed to have an awesome dad. He works so hard for my family even now that most of us are out of the house. He still helps with paying for certain things while we finish college. He helps me when I take my car to the mechanic because my husband and I know next to nothing about cars. He taught me how to fix a toilet, how to do taxes, how to buy a car, and most importantly, how I should be treated. Watching my dad interact with my mom taught me how I should be treated by the guys I dated. I knew what was good from watching them. In this case, fathers teach us important things that mothers sometimes can’t. I am grateful for both my mother and my father for teaching me a lot of important life lessons. I hope to share those with my own kids one day.

One more thing that my dad did that I think really made a difference was that anytime he was correcting us for whatever we did that day, he always made sure to tell us he loved us. I always knew that my dad loved me. (Same goes for my mom. I think next we should talk about how awesome moms are because honestly, just giving birth terrifies me.)

We also talked about finances which I am constantly tracking for me and my husband. My dad (also another thing he did for me) made us a spreadsheet for our budget and it really helps us to keep track of how much we want to spend and how much we actually spend. I have noticed that we are not the best right now at sticking to a budget. This summer will be a big test for us because we will have no income for four months while my husband does his summer job and I am taking classes in a completely different state than we live in now. Maybe with the added stress, we’ll be able to stick to our budget more.

In class, we talked about how finances are a big reason people argue and about 54% of divorces were over finances according to marriage and family therapists. My professor did say that that number is old, so it could be much different now. But still, 54% is a lot. So if people argue about money a lot, what can we do to make it easier? One thing we could do is to have a weekly “business” meeting with your spouse or just have one with yourself. In this meeting, you can go over what you are spending money on, what expenses you have to pay, and what things you could cut out. If we look at the budget more often, we will (hopefully) be more careful with our spending. I hope to try this plan and see how it goes with my husband.